Coming out

Coming out is the phrase used to describe the process of someone who is gay, bisexual or transgender being open with the people around them about their sexuality or gender identity. This can be a difficult process for people and they may be worried that others will treat them differently once they know. Even though it can be scary, most people feel coming out is very important as it means that they can be honest about how they feel and not keep an important part of their life hidden.

Getting to know yourself

One of the very first steps of coming out is acknowledging to yourself what your sexual preferences or your gender identity are. This may sound really obvious, but for lots of people admitting to themselves that they are gay, bisexual, lesbian or transgender can be hard for lots of reasons.
It could be because they have been brought up to think that being thes things is wrong or because they are worried about being teased or bullied. If you are not sure if you are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, you may find it helpful to talk to someone you trust about your feelings.

Who to tell?

When you are first coming out the most sensible option is to tell someone who you trust and who you think will be supportive and understanding. It will probably help if they are someone who can keep a secret, as you may not want other people finding out before you are feeling comfortable and confident about your sexuality or gender identity. This person could be a close friend, family member or a trusted adult such as a teacher or youth worker.

Will it change things?

Hopefully coming out will change things for the better for you, as you will not feel that there is a big part of your life that people do not know about. Many people describe feeling relieved that they can be open and honest about how they feel.
However, there can be a downside to coming out, as you may come across people, including friends and family, who are homophobic (prejudiced against gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people) who might make you feel angry, upset or scared. You might experience discrimination.
This is why it can be helpful to tell a small group of trusted people first, as that way you will feel supported and have people to talk to about how things are going.

Take your time

Remember, if you are not sure of how you feel about your sexuality or gender identity, there is no hurry to make your mind up or tell people. Coming out is a very individual thing and it is important to do it in your own way and in your own time.

Discrimination

People who are gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender often face discrimination because of their sexuality or gender identity. This is known as homophobia and the consequences of this prejudice can be very serious, causing people to experience low self-esteem and to suffer verbal and physical attacks.

Homophobia

Homphobia means the hatred, dislike or fear of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people. These feelings are not rational and there is no reason why anyone should be discriminated against or treated differently because of their sexuality. If you are faced with homophobic discrimination or bullying it is important to remember that the people with the prejudice are the ones with the problem, not you.

At school

Lots of young gay, lesbian, bi and transgender people face homophobic bullying at school and this can have a big impact on them as they grow up. Being bullied can cause people to not want to go to school, to feel depressed and have low self-esteem, or even to self-harm or commit suicide.
Even if someone is not directly bullied because of their sexuality, homophobic language is often used in schools, such as using the word ‘gay’ in a derogatory way to describe something that is lame or stupid. Whilst some people may think this is harmless, things like this can make it difficult for gay, bi and transgender people to tell others about their sexuality and cause them to feel isolated.

At work

Since 2003 is has been illegal for employers to discriminate against someone because of their sexuality. Under the Employment Equality (Sexual Orientation) Regulations 2003, workers are protected from direct and indirect discrimination, victimisation and harassment.
Transgender people are also protected under the Sexual Discrimination Act 1975 against harassment on the basis of their gender reassignment and the Gender Recognition Act 2004, which provides transsexual people with legal recognition of their chosen gender.

Support

If you are being bullied because of your sexuality or gender identity it is really important that you speak to someone about this. If it is happening within school tell a trusted teacher or staff member, as they will be able to support you and hopefully stop the bullying from continuing.
If it is happening at work there are a number of sources of support, including colleagues, managers and your Human Resources department. Under law if you raise a grievance, your employer has a duty to investigate this. If the matter is more serious or you don’t feel you are getting the support from work you would like then it is important to get support and advice from other organisations, such as your trade union, the Citizens Advice Bureau or a Law Centre.

Hate crime

If a person is verbally or physically attacked because they are, or their attacker thinks they are, gay, bi or transgender, this is classed as a hate crime. If you feel the matter is serious enough you have the right to go to the police and report what has happened. Your local police force should have a team which have been trained to deal with hate crimes that can give you advice and investigate what has been happening.
Most importantly, if you feel that you've been the victim of homophobia we'd like to hear about it - get in touch with us.

Email : ootc@hotmail.co.uk

Telephone / Text : 07890 228854